


Been On My Own For Long Enough

by Ayam_Cemani



Series: White and red [1]
Category: Heavens official blessing, 天官赐福 - 墨香铜臭 | Tiān Guān Cì Fú - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Angst with a Happy Ending, Calamity!Xie Lian, God!He Xuan, God!Hua Cheng, Humor, M/M, Major Spoilers, No Beta, calamity!Shi Qingxuan, fem!shi qingxuan, hc and hx are two dudes being bros, mild editing for late night mistakes, rambling meta-textual interconnected drabbles, slightly less of a dick Jun Wu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:40:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22461277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayam_Cemani/pseuds/Ayam_Cemani
Summary: Hua Cheng’s been told this over a thousand times for eight hundred years. In fact, a warning to remain far away from Bai Wuxiang had been one of the first things Jun Wu had taught him after he ascended and woke up in the middle of the heavenly court. No name, missing an eye, and no memory of who he had been or what was going on.Not that Hua Cheng ever listened to Jun Wu about most things. All it took to get back on that man’s good side was a pouty lip and a hung head, so Hua Cheng never had to worry about the trouble he got into. And Hua Cheng, martial god of the south, wealth, luck, and even known as literature god among some mortals for being a patron of the arts, golden child of the heavens, quite enjoyed a good bit of trouble now and again.
Relationships: Bái Wūxiāng/Wú Míng, Huā Chéng/Xiè Lián
Series: White and red [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1619932
Comments: 28
Kudos: 288





	Been On My Own For Long Enough

**Author's Note:**

> A bunch of mildly disjointed scenes from an au I'm not going to write out where A) Jun Wu was not ever turned into Bai Wuxiang, instead he's doing pretty great. The fall of Xian Le had nothing to do with him. B) Xie Lian fell in love with Wu Ming (like, deeper in love cause it's canon that he loved him and you can't change my mind) and they were together and everything before shit got even more real.
> 
> Title by the Weekend's new song 'blinding lights', which was the song I wrote this delightful mess to.

“Hua Cheng!” 

The terrified shout comes from Feng Xin as nearly translucent flower petals whirl viciously into Hua Cheng’s line of sight, separating himself from Shi Hexuan and Shi Wudu, and them from Feng Xin, Mu Qing, and Pei Ming. 

“Bai-Xoing what are you doing!?” That shout came from the one and only Black Sails Laughing Gale- One of the two Hellish Calamities that stalked the earth. 

She’d tricked them. Spent years being the jovial, and male, Earth Master that none of them suspected. A fact that sat sourly in the back of Hua Cheng’s throat, not wholly for himself, but also for Shi Hexuan- who currently was almost as pale as the flowers from whatever was standing behind him.

In fact, every single one of the other gods, dragged into this mess by Qing Xuan’s schemes, looked about ready to spit blood in their terror.

“You’re supposed to be tearing the interlopers apart!” Screeched the demoness somewhere above them. “You’re ruining my revenge!”

Hua Cheng turned.

What greeted him was an odd mask. Odd in how one half seemed to be crying, while the other was laughing. The rest of the being was cloaked in pure white mourning robes, a veil clinging to its head and billowing silently in the tempest. All obscuring any features the being might have to identify itself.

Hua Cheng understood his friend’s terror now. Alone, Qing Xuan could have been taken by all of them easily, especially with Hua Cheng and his excellent luck on their side. This Calamity, on the other hand, was Bai Wuxiang, and it would take all of Hua cheng’s luck just to escape with his own life.

But it wasn’t terror that filled him now.

Bai Wuxiang lifted a pale hand towards him, and Hua Cheng was shocked to discover it was trembling. That cold hand didn’t hurt him, didn’t tear at his throat or break his bones. All it did was so carefully, so gently it made Hua Cheng want to cry, touch his eye patch, and had he been anything else in the entire world, Hua Cheng would have taken an arm for daring.

“.... Wu Ming?” Was that Bai Wuxiang’s voice? He sounded close to crying, breathless with some emotion..

Something inside Hua Cheng clicked into place, something akin to awe filling his pounding heart. He opened his mouth to speak, to say something, anything to this man who made the world go right for the first time Hua Cheng could ever remember. 

He struggled to get enough air in his lungs, struggled to find the words that normally came so easily to him when-

“Wu Ming!?” That demoness again! Qing Xuan twirled around in the air above them, peering curiously down at them, her vengeance on Shi Wudu for his abandonment, and Shi Hexuan for stealing her life and her family temporarily forgotten. “That can’t be Wu Ming! That’s Hua Cheng! That noisy troublemaker I kept telling you about- Jun Wu’s pet!”

Bai Wuxiang pulled his hand away, and Hua Cheng suddenly felt very, very cold. 

“Wait-” Hua Cheng tried to say. Trying to calm the racing thoughts in his head, the sting of lies and betrayal eight hundred years old, when the roar of thunder crashed over the three of them, drowning out further words. Golden arrows flew past him, towards the Calamities. In a split second decision, Hua Cheng snatched one out of the air- the one headed for Bai Wuxian- and he stared once more at the mask. 

The moment lasted forever, but not anywhere near long enough. 

The wind whipped up again, rain hurled around at a pace that would shatter windows had there been any, and drenched Hua Cheng to the bone. He finally tore his eyes away from Bai Wuxiang and whirled back around to see Shu Wudu and Shi Hexuan tearing apart the wind and petal barriers.

He tried to yell for them to stop, but the wind tore his voice away before it could reach them. Instead, protecting the other three sacks of rocks for brains were throwing together an array. Feng Xin waved at him in warning, eyes nearly bulging out of his head. 

Hua Cheng again turned back, Bai Wuxiang was reaching out for him once more, his arm nearly shredded by the fierce winds. The sight of his blood and flesh hurt Hua Cheng more deeply than any wound he’d ever received. He didn’t bother to stop himself from trying to lunge forward, shove Bai Wuxiang’s arm back somewhere safe. Only, it was too late. Whatever spell the others had cast caught him in it’s wicked grip, and all Hua Cheng could do was watch helplessly as he was torn away.

* * *

Hua Cheng can’t get Bai Wuxiang out of his head.

The Royal Ghost Flower. Petals Dancing to Mournful Screams. Creator and lord of Ghost City. An omen of Misfortune for all who were unlucky enough to glimpse his form. Slayer of thirty-three martial and literature gods. So strong that he wounded Jun Wu himself so deeply, even now he limped when he walked. A demon so destructive and vile that he wiped out not one, but four separate kingdoms with his terrifying human face disease. And, if the rumors were to believed, the first thing he destroyed was been his own people.

Hua Cheng’s been told this over a thousand times for eight hundred years. In fact, a warning to remain far away from Bai Wuxiang had been one of the first things Jun Wu had taught him after he ascended and woke up in the middle of the heavenly court. No name, missing an eye, and no memory of who he had been or what was going on. 

Not that Hua Cheng ever listened to Jun Wu about most things. All it took to get back on that man’s good side was a pouty lip and a hung head, so Hua Cheng never had to worry about the trouble he got into. And Hua Cheng, martial god of the south, wealth, luck, even known as literature god among some mortals for being a patron of the arts, and golden child of the heavens, quite enjoyed a good bit of trouble now and again.

This time however, things didn’t go as they usually did.

First off, Jun Wu had been more angry than he’d ever seen. His lectures usually lasted another hundred years, but rarely were so demeaning. Normally he at least listened when Hua Cheng pouted enough, made him laugh with that small, quirked grin of his. Not this time. He felt like a useless child, scolded for once again getting involved and almost getting himself killed. Worse? The one thing Jun Wu truly asked of him, and he disobeyed. Running right into Bai Wuxiang. He didn’t even explain when Hua Cheng demanded to know why! What did Bai Wuxiang want with him!? Instead he had been dismissed and put under house arrest in his own palace.

It was all Hua Cheng could do not to explode from rage.

The second thing was currently sitting grimly in the middle of his bedroom. Shi Hexuan, with the earth master’s- no, with Qing Xuan’s ridiculous shovel, and a hole in his floor that he’d clearly tunneled through. 

The last he’d seen of Shi Hexuan, he had been forced to return to the Storm Master’s palace. Shi Wudu dragging his younger brother while the two of them screamed profanities and accusations. At least, Hua Cheng thought, he didn’t look like screaming anymore. That wouldn’t help them escape.

The two of them didn’t need to talk, what use was there? Their eyes met and they agreed on one thing; Seeking out the two Calamities and getting the truth from them if the Heavens wouldn’t speak.

* * *

It’s a horrible place, Ghost city. Hua Cheng had been here several times over the years when Bai Wuxiang was known to be off somewhere else. Dragging Shi- No, he’d been asked to be called He Xuan on the way over- dragging He Xuan with him. Mostly for his own entertainment when the rotting prostitutes would try and flirt with them. Enjoying the way He Xuan would let his disgust be known as loudly and as often as possible when Hua Cheng would dazzle the girls by letting them blow on his dice before rolling and winning the entire pot. Not that he enjoyed their company much either, but winning people over was as easy as breathing and he adored the attention. 

That’s the third thing Hua Cheng finds different though. Instead of bustling hellish place with screeching ghouls hawking unknowable wares, profane words, actions and cursed items spilling out off the stalls and into the streets, the scent unspeakable cuisines wafting through the air, there is only silence. The very air seemed as dead as it’s residents. 

He Xuan and Hua Cheng spare each other a glance. They know this territory is the safe haven of Bai Wuxiang, and for it to be so silent, that could not be anything good. Still, the two gods pressed on in the eerie silence, easily making their through the streets to the one part of Ghost City they’d never been to- Bai Wuxiang’s Hollow Orchard. 

Hua Cheng still had to give He Xuan a grin and nudged him when they finally saw it up close. The bleached white trees, twisted and spindly and barren of anything except what appeared to be blackened, rotting fruits protruding from the branches. He Xuan walked as fast as he could away from his best friend, resolutely refusing to hear whatever joke he was about to make, and that was fine. Hua Cheng could say it later when there was a better mood.

His good humor was quickly ruined when a piercing scream cut through the air. 

Their feet squelched through the Orchard’s ground, neither god wanting to acknowledge whatever was under their feet, focusing instead on the next group of trees, rounding it, and then on the scene that unfolded.

Bai Wuxiang charged full steam ahead with another screeched, “LET ME OUT!” slammed into some invisible barrier, and bounced back so hard he flew into the air. Slapping into the soft earth and failing his limbs like an insect until he was on his feet, dirt clinging to his white robes and repeating the action again. 

“Absolutely not!” Qing Xuan! There she stood, just outside of barrier keeping Bai Wuxiang from leaving.

“OUT!!” Again, he raced forward. 

“You can’t go to Heaven idiot!” Qing Xuan flicked her fan- a malicious spiritual device with patterns of a skeleton ship delicately painted on it’s skin. Just looking at it’s half drowned designs was enough to make one sea sick.

“OUT OUT OUT!!” Again.

“It’s a fucking trap!!” 

“WU MING!!” This time a desperate wail as again, he hit the barrier.

“You’re fucking drunk and you’ll literally die! With a lot more finality!!” Qing Xuan threw up her hands, the sleeves of her pirate’s garb fluttering in her exasperation. 

Rather than bothering with the barrier further, Bai Wuxiang threw himself on the ground, screaming without restraint into the dirt. Pounding his fists and feet with so much strength, that had it been any less churned and soft, there would be cracks and craters appearing. 

Such a scene was pitiful, and Hua Cheng barely had time to register he was moving out from behind the trees until he had Qing Xuan’s arm in a tight grip and she was gaping at him.

He Xuan also came out from behind the trees, leveling his famous glare at the woman while she recomposed herself with a nasty grin.

“Well now what have we here!? Two little gods in my best friend’s playground? How rude! You should both be grateful his highness is indisposed at the moment and I’m being forced to hold him back, otherwise we’d fix the fluke that allowed you to escape earlier!” Qing Xuan’s confidence could have made her beautiful despite the madness in her eyes, but Hua Cheng couldn’t give less of a shit.

“Actually,” Hua Cheng gave her an equally nasty grin. “I would very much like you to let go of his highness after all.”

Both He Xuan and Qing Xuan were staring at him now. Hua Cheng still didn’t give a shit.

“Alrighty then handsome, he’s all yours!” In an instant, Qing Xuan vanished in a puff of smoke, her shrill laughter breezing through the trees as the barrier keeping Bai Wuxiang from rampaging disappeared.

“I hope you know what you’re doing.” He Xuan hissed through gritted teeth, warily watching the still tantruming calamity.

“Don’t you have a demon to chase down?” 

They didn’t look at each other. And that was fine, they didn’t really need to. 

Hua Cheng didn’t give He Xuan another spare thought. He’d convince Qing Xuan to let him live, eventually, with her frivolous, spiteful nature no doubt taking advantage of the chance to stick a big middle finger to Shi Wudu by claiming He Xuan for her own. All he could think about was the white figure before him. 

“Your highness?” Hua cheng asked, kneeling next to his writhing form. Limbs slammed onto the ground one last time, and the crying side of Bai Wuxiang’s mask turned to face him so fact Hua Cheng heard cracks along the ghost’s neck and spine. Making Hua Cheng flinch at the thought of him feeling any pain from that.

“Wu Ming?” He sounded so fragile. It broke Hua Cheng’s heart.

“.... I’m here your highness.” 

A broken sob left Bai Wuxiang, clawed hands clutching at Hua Cheng’s formerly pristine red robes and dragging his way up. Hua Cheng cradled him, supporting his climb and he felt a little like crying himself when Bai Wuxiang’s filthy mask butted into his neck and face. The feeling he was being given kisses, both needy and loving at once. Sobbing ‘Wu Ming’ over and over while his hands dug bruises into his limbs and Hua Cheng soothed him with hand down his back, fingers tangling in chestnut brown hair as the funeral veil finally lost the will to hold itself in place.

They stayed, clinging to each other, for a very long time.

* * *

“So you don’t remember anything?”

They were in bed together- something practically every female god, half his female worshipers, a healthy smattering of female ghosts, and even a good portion of the men from those categories, would have shed bloody tears in jealousy about. 

“Nothing at all. I woke up missing this,” Hua Cheng tapped over the eye patch,” and pretty much my entire life before my ascension.”

Bai Wuxiang turned his face up towards the ceiling- if it could really be called that. The crying side of his mask once again facing Hua Cheng while he digested that their life together was simply... Gone.

Hua Cheng remained where he was, on his side facing the white calamity.

They were currently resting in a golden bed, in a golden room, in a golden palace that sprawled in a more open spot, overlapping a few of the trees where it spilled into the Hollow Orchard. The palace hadn’t been difficult to find once Bai Wuxiang cried himself to sleep in Hua Cheng’s arms. What had been difficult was realizing that everything in it, including the walls, including the willowy ‘servants’ that crinkled hollowly when they moved, were all made of golden foil, and resisting the urge to crunch all of it up, knock it over and play in the mess. But it was Bai Wuxiang’s palace, and any desire to crash it had to be ground down to nothing.

Staring at the tear on the mask, Hua Cheng felt a surge of such devotion. It would have scared him if it didn’t feel so right.

“I’m sorry.” Bai Wuxian was so quiet when the words slipped out. “Please, forgive me.”

Hua Cheng sat up, alarmed. “What, no!? You didn’t do anything wrong! Your highness-”

“Don’t call me that.” Bai Wuxiang sat up as well, the crying side still facing him. Rumor had it that if you saw the laughing side, he’d kill you quickly, but if all you saw was the crying side, you would die a slow painful death from the human face disease. Hua Cheng decided he’d rather suffer through that disease than ever hear such a self deprecating tone from Bai Wuxiang ever again.

“Then what should I call you?” Bai Wuxiang was stiff next to him, Hua Cheng desperately wanted him to say something, tell him anything that might bring a memory of what he was supposed to call him.

“I don’t-” Whatever Bai Wuxiang didn’t was left unsaid in a frustrated sigh. Rolling to his feet in a far more graceful way than he had fallen last night and he made to leave the room.

“Gege, stay?” 

It was a spur of the moment question, a spur of the moment endearment, but Bai Wuxiang actually stumbled before the mask turned to face Hua Cheng fully, “Wh-what??”

Hua Cheng remained where he was. If his excellent luck was going to fail him like before, he still had a couple of tricks up his sleeve to turn the tide in his favor. The first of which is what he was currently doing, everyone loved being called something sweet from someone they cared for right? They’d been close once, every instinct and insight screamed this at him, so he couldn’t go wrong there. The next step in winning over Bai Wuxiang is what he did when the calamity faced him- used every trick he’d seen from others by tilting his head, just enough to let his luscious hair fall in waves, head propped up by a casual arm. Long legs alluringly stretched out over the golden foil, bare chest out for Bai Wuxiang’s viewing pleasure, having taken off his robes the night before for being too smeared with dirt to bring into the golden bed.

“Stay for a while longer Gege? This one doesn’t want Gege to feel like he has to be sorry, I just want you to stay.”

The weight of Bai Wuxiang’s gaze is like a physical force. It makes shivers of desire, a foreign feeling for the god, rake through his body and almost wreck what little composure he still had. 

Then, Bai Wuxiang laughed. Hua Cheng blinked at the sound, not having been what he was going for but- “Ah, you’re always so insincere.” Hua Cheng actually panicked when he turned away, that sliver of crying as he made to leave.

Hua Cheng was off the golden foil- and thank fuck Bai Wuxiang hadn’t fucking seen how he nearly slipped- and realized as he skidded to a halt right behind Bai Wuxiang that he again had no real plan. What the fuck really? He was known for thinking twelve steps a head! A Martial god you invoked for battle tactics, but what the fuck, how did this man keep throwing him off his game so easily!?

“For Gege, there’s no one more sincere than me.” Hua Cheng blurts the words unthinkingly, and it’s apparently the right thing to say. This time, the mask half he sees is the laughing one, and again his heart flips and squeezes tightly. 

“BAI-XIOOONG!! LOOK WHAT I FOUND!!” Screeched Qing Xuan. Golden figures of the fake servants moaning unhappily, faces pressed around from the inside of their fragile forms when she blew in, poor He Xuan trapped between her legs thanks to her position on his shoulders.

Hua Cheng had never hated anyone more in his life than he hated the two of them right that second.

* * *

So things went a little like this- after Qing Xuan ruined his attempts to get on Bai Wuxiang’s good side, they all sat down and had a heart to heart. 

He Xuan got the closest to crying over hearing about the sweet and kind family Qing Xuan got to grow up with- He Xuan’s true family. Originally the ones who raised He Xuan were going to let the jinx monster who cursed their son have He Xuan in exchange. Because their birth names had been similar, it had been easy to confuse the wretched beast, and He Xuan’s family had been paid quite handsomely to raise their darling son for a short time in exchange for their son having a chance at a better future thanks to the wealth. Only, once He Xuan ascended by slaying the jinx monster, Shi Wudu’s parents killed He Xuan’s original family to hide what they did. Trying to take Qing Xuan back to their house and make sure he’d still be a proper addition to the family. Qing Xuan hated them, hated what they had done to his wonderful parents and sister, hated that they traded him and abandoned him and for a long while had been convinced he was meant to be a god in He Xuan’s place. Qing Xuan had been later murdered by his own parents when he refused to comply and even tried to reach out to Shi Wudu to tell him what happened. The rest, as they say, was history. And He Xuan agreed that Qing Xuan had been wronged and agreed to stay out of Qing Xuan’s revenge against the brother who ignored him.

Bai Wuxiang and Hua Cheng had been a little different. Even though they were technically on the same page about getting Hua Cheng’s memories back, Bai Wuxiang refused to talk about their past. Stating that it would be wrong of him to just tell him those memories, that Hua Cheng needed to remember on his own if it was to mean anything. Which meant they needed to figure out what could help him unlock whatever was keeping them just out of reach. 

He Xuan suggested going back to where Hua Cheng had been born as a mortal, and Bai Wuxiang sheepishly replied that Xian Le had been raided and rebuilt as the kingdom of Yong’An. Everyone politely decided to keep their thoughts about how Bai Wuxiang himself had torn down Yong’An and built his Ghost City directly over it to themselves. Hua Cheng suggested a game, Bai Wuxiang would start talking about a memory and if Hua Cheng remembered, he could finish it. The stubborn calamity veto’d the idea before he could even finish and Hua Cheng was left to stew in his own frustration while Qing Xuan suggested looking for personal items. Unfortunately, Hua Cheng didn’t remember which of his many many toys could have come from before he lost his memories, resulting in the four of them sneaking back into heaven. That also ended as a bust when, after scrounging through Hua Cheng’s excessive amount of heavenly treasures, not a single one of them caught his eye. 

He snuck little glances at Bai Wuxiang the entire time, hoping for a twitch, a head tilt, a gripped hand, anything that would tell him he was on the right track. Such efforts were wasted as Bai Wuxiang kept his hands hidden in sleeves and stood around, still as a corpse. Completely focused on Hua Cheng himself, and while flattering, it was frustrating. If only he didn’t have that damn mask! Faces were harder to control than body movements, he could get a hint from at least that.

With nothing left in Paradise Manor to explore, they huddled together for a new idea. Nothing new came to them beyond a magic spell, but Hua Cheng turned down the idea of someone rooting around in his head. Which eventually lead to Hua Cheng again begging Bai Wuxiang for any scrap of whatever happened to him before his ascension, anything that might tell him of something he could use.

Finally, Bai Wuxiang relented.

 _Smack smack smack-_ Went Qing Xuan’s fan against her knee.

He Xuan’s eye had been twitching on and off for a while now about it and Hua Cheng made a bet with himself if he would just seal it shut at some point.

“Qing-mei, we’re trying to stay quiet.” That was Bai Wuxiang, flat-voiced as he usually was when not speaking to Hua Cheng.

“Bai-xiong I’m bored! We could blow in, get the scraps, and blow back out in seconds if you’d let me!”

“We’re in Jun Wu’s territory ‘Mei, we have to be more careful than that.”

“I thought you wanted to fight him, kill him dead.”

He Xuan was staring at Hua Cheng, as if he could- or would even bother- to stop their inane bickering.

“I’m not going to do that with two gods who could be banished at any second and a delusional dust storm.”

Hua Cheng had to bite his lip at the outraged noise Qing Xuan made, but he quickly also shushed her as one of the muttering martial gods stomped his way out from the grand hall. Jun Wu’s grand hall, where they were currently trying to break in once the last god left for the evening and Jun Wu “powered down” for sleep. Resulting in most of his usual magical barriers being kept up by other martial gods, which was the one weak point Jun Wu had if you could sneak into his hall just as they were taking over the barrier. 

As it so happened, Hua Cheng’s good luck struck again that they returned just as he took his usual once-a-week hibernation nap to recharge his mind and check his prophetic dreams for any disasters. He used to do this once a month, but since Bai Wuxiang’s descension eight hundred years ago, it went up to twice a month. And later, once a week when the two Calamities joined forces. Now, probably search for He Xuan and Hua Cheng’s whereabouts with the heavens in an uproar about their disappearance and subsequent ignoring of the shouts in the communication array..

Hua Cheng glanced again at the laughing side that faced him. Bai Wuxiang admitting that they fought Jun Wu together, just before they lost each other, had set his mind spinning with theories and possibilities. The most important of which was that Jun Wu could very possibly have taken something from Wu Ming! 

Despite their rather turbulent relationship at times, and honestly Hua Cheng’s general distaste for the heavens, he hadn’t really thought Jun Wu would lie to him so thoroughly. In fact, Jun Wu had been the one to name him ‘Hua Cheng’. Took him under his wing and trained the young memory-less god in many forms of war and the arts. Gave him that palace, a place at his side, indulged his ridiculous whims and laughed at his antics, the same way an older brother or even a father might. To know it was Jun Wu that cut him down, took him and kept him away from Bai Wuxiang for all these years- why? Bai Wuxiang wouldn’t say either. The not knowing, the secrets, it left such a bitter taste on his tongue. 

Yet, to see that mask. Something about seeing Bai Wuxiang made that aching, empty place in his heart feel whole for the first time he could remember. The words ‘it only matters if you know it, not be told it’ drove him onwards to the truth, whereas Jun Wu had often told him to simmer down. Sometimes not to know was better for you, tell him to let things go and to just accept things as they were. 

They both kept secrets, but at least one of them wanted him to know. That’s where he would place his trust he knew, but… Words from Jun Wu floated in his mind, an implication that Hua Cheng might have been abused by Bai Wuxiang at some point. Not that he thought Bai Wuxiang would actually do such a thing… Intentionally anyway. But he still needed to take that into consideration even as his heart called him a traitor for even thinking it.

* * *

Two of them were in front a trunk, deep within the bowels of Jun Wu’s martial hall, He Xuan and Qing Xuan having darted down some other hallway in search of something for Hua Cheng. Sealed tight with not only ghost wards, but wards against the divine carefully crafted into the locks. The deep crimson and maple leaves etched into its outward appearance calling for Hua Cheng to open it.

They were kneeling, peeling back the careful enchantments together. When they finally popped the lid, peering inside-

_Clang!_

God and Demon caught the silver blur that leaped out of the trunk at the same moment. A blur that turned out to be a wickedly beautiful scimitar with a wild red eye lain in the hilt. Spinning like mad and scrunched up, wet with tears(???) and jumping between staring at them in turn.

“E-ming!” Hua Cheng let go of the blade at Bai Wuxiang’s joyful cry, standing back watching as the sword was greeted so warmly. “Who’s a good boy?” The calamity continued to coo, patting the rattling sword and soothing away it’s tears.

Hua Cheng glared at it, irritated at himself for being so jealous of a damn sword as it shamelessly nuzzled against gentle hands. He shook himself internally as the sword began to calm down, almost flopping into a softly purring puddle in the calamity’s hand. The mask was facing Hua Cheng fully again, but he got the distinct impression Bai Wuxiang was actually smiling under it as he held the calmed sword out. 

What could he do but take it? 

The handle fit perfectly in his hand. The weight even and well balanced, had this been one of the scimitars from his collection, even one of the demonic blades, it would have thought to use it without restraint. 

He looked at the demonic eye, and it looked like right back him.

It was repulsive.

Demonic weapons, cursed objects from the mortal realm or trophies he’d taken from battling demons, were common things. He even had several ruby encrusted swords similar to this very blade in his personal treasures. None of them had ever hit him with this wave of disgust and nausea. The eye was ugly, so much so that it made him feel ugly just looking at it, causing a pressure building behind his empty eye socket. If it hadn’t been for Bai Wuxiang standing there, obviously waiting for a reaction, he probably would have thrown it back into the box and slammed the lid closed. 

Unable to bear looking at it any longer, Hua Cheng looked instead at Bai Wuxiang. Nothing. No words to lead him to any answers, no clues on how he should act and what he wanted from Hua Cheng. The Calamity’s laughing side too busy staring into the box. 

E-ming rattled in his hands, drawing his attention back to it. “What? What do you want?” The eye spun, seeming pleased that it was being acknowledged. E-ming wiggled around in his hand, making sure Hua Cheng was following it’s motions, and the scabbard smacked into his leg, a loop attaching itself eagerly to his belt and the blade fell quiet. Sagging against him in relief and eye finally closing. 

“...” 

Really now! The amount of liberties he was allowing this ridiculous blade- again he glanced at Bai Wuxiang, and caught a glimpse of the laughing face before it was covered by the veil. Hua Cheng huffed, his hand finding E-ming’s hilt and resting comfortably there. Fine, whatever, the ugly sword could stay for now. 

Next item from his memory box was a small round red bead- No, wait. He knew what this was. A red coral bead. Exceptionally rare and very expensive. Naturally, he had several precious gemstones and other objects similar to these beads, as well as a matching set of red coral earrings. He’d always liked them, running his fingers over the smooth surfaces, endlessly fiddling and admiring. This one was certainly beautiful, but it was by no means as perfect as some from his own collection. It sat in Bai Wuxiang’s pale palm, a drop of crystallized blood against white, until Hua Cheng plucked it up, running his thumb and forefinger over its surface. One of the oldest versions he’s ever seen, and if he wasn’t mistaken, that minuscule black spot meant this was an earring itself. Why just one? Where was it’s other half?

Again he felt bai Wuxiang’s heavy gaze, waiting for a reaction, but when he looked up, he only saw the white cloth of his veil. 

Another well of frustration threatened to rise in him, pleas for something, anything, any indication of how he was supposed to act, what he was supposed to know. Hua Cheng grit his teeth and swallowed them down. Forcing his fingers to relax around the bead lest he accidentally crushed it- maybe if it had been a different one he wouldn’t have cared. He couldn’t do it to this one though. His entire being rejected the possibility so violently… It was only when Bai Wuxiang turned back around to offer the next item did Hua Cheng realize the red bead unthinkingly had been braided into a lock of hair.

The bead and the sword were forgotten as a chill crawled down his spine.

In Bai Wuxiang’s hand lay a red umbrella. Good quality, but plain. That’s not what made him go cold though, it was that he had many just like it. A collection of red umbrellas, most made with golds and silvers for their handles, patterns exquisitely with maple leaves, flowers… 

Hua Cheng didn’t take the umbrella, instead he knelt by the trunk. Pushing the lid back farther so he could see for himself. 

There were only two items left. Both things he chased as a part of his collections;

A white white flower, withered and stale, but it’s shape was as familiar as Hua Cheng’s palace- he kept flower patterns on most of his things. Delicate wire wrought flowers, even an expansive garden of various species of flowers- each bloom pure white. It petals remarkably similar to Bai Wuxiang's petals of plague.

A white mask, a black smile facing him. It was horribly plain, the crescent upturned lines either mocking or mourning if you looked this way or that. His collection of masks, most silver or porcelain, some fully covering, others not.

“I was…” His own voice startled him. Hoarse as it was, after so long of neither of them speaking. “I was looking for these.”

* * *

“Are you done angsting yet?”

The escape had gone well. Mostly. 

Jun Wu had woken up early, and they were forced to break their way through the barrier. Dragging the enraged Bai Wuxiang and E-ming from their battle with Jun Wu, and dodging their old friends on the way out and downward.

“You’ve got lipstick on your cheek.” 

He Xuan swore and what minute amusement Hua Cheng got from watching him furiously smear the sticky makeup further wasn’t anywhere near enough to drown out the overcrowding thoughts in his head.

They were currently hiding out in Qing Xuan’s territory while the two Calamities were off leading the gods on a wild goose chase. This time instead of an endless dead sea and black winds, the open air pavilions showed a stretch of sandy land, quiet waves lapping on the shore and smatterings of clouds again a grey sky. It’d be beautiful if Hua Cheng had the presence of mind to enjoy it.

He Xuan came to plop down on the pavilion steps, next to where Hua Cheng was holding out E-ming. Twisting the ghost scimitar this way and that and watching the light reflect off it’s silver-and-steel scabbard.

“You didn’t answer. Asshole.” He Xuan finally gave up on the lip smear.

“Fuck you.” They both knew he had no real bite to the words. Too busy staring at the curious red flickering back and forth, too busy angsting.

They didn’t talk for a while. He Xuan also staring at E-ming, though a lot more suspiciously.

“It’s mine.” 

“What?” He Xuan was looking at Hua Cheng again. Hua Cheng maintaining his staring contest with E-ming.

“That eye. It’s mine.” He hadn’t realized that at first, but the longer he stared at E-ming, the more certain he was. It was all too coincidental- his own missing eye, his strong reactions of self loathing when he saw it. Even how much this sword was loved by Bai Wuxiang, the way he wished he could be. 

“Someone took your eye to make it?” One could hear the deep scowl in his tone.

“No, no. Bai Wuxiang would have killed anyone who tried to hurt me.” Hua Cheng was grateful He Xuan knew better than to try and point out Bai Wuxiang could have been the one to do it. “I did this myself.”

“You remembered something?”

“Bits and pieces. Flashes of whatever fucked up shit happened.” E-ming’s eye spun eagerly, but Hua Cheng put the sword back on his side and ignored the pouty tugs it gave him before vanishing into… wherever the sword went when Hua Cheng dismissed it.

“That’s it?”

‘That’s it’ he says. As if the flashes he did get weren’t enough for nightmare fuel on their own.

_Screaming people, chanting ‘ugly ugly ugly’. Shrieking that he was a monster, a red umbrella blown his way..._

_Free falling, white sleeves, warmth, being cradled in safe arms, a red bead in his line of sight..._

_His own self, screaming out pure agony, begging for a savior, a white flower in hand..._

_Shrieking naked women, mocking and giggling as someone cried out behind him..._

_Faces, pressing out from under the skin, the people horrified and angry in turn..._

_A man in white, almost unrecognizable as human after a thousand cuts…_

_A white hand over his heart, watching through the slits of a mask, ‘Mine.’ Forever..._

_Jun Wu, Bai Wuxiang, both beaten and bloody, Bai Wuxiang without a weapon, Jun Wu advancing, he needed- pain pain **pain** -_

Hua cheng pressed a hand to his temple, trying to tamp them back down again for a least a while. They wanted to come back now, but there was no telling how long it would take for them to settle in his mind, and on the run from heaven was a bad time to be out of commission. So he was holding off for just a bit longer. He had to.

“Hua Cheng?” He must really look like shit if He Xuan sounded actually worried.

“Hey, He Xuan, do me a favor.”

“Yeah?”

“Stab me. Right about-” he flicked open his eye and grinned, pointing towards his throbbing temple. “There. And don’t miss.”

Ah there it was, He Xuan’s famous eye roll. Really, he and Mu Qing should compete. “It’s already tempting enough most days, don’t offer me this when I have to leave you alive.” 

Hua Cheng chuckled, “You always know just what to say to brighten my moods.” Grinning wider at He Xuan’s disgusted noise.

The wind and waves kept things from being too quiet as they lapsed into contemplative silence.

E-ming came back with a swish of a hand and a thought. Bright eye opening and rolling around in hopes of some excitement.

“This does give a new meaning to an important saying.” 

“Don’t say it, don’t you dare-”

“An eye for an eye eh?”

“Fuck you.”

* * *

Controlling E-ming is as easy as breathing. It responded to his every action, reaction, predicting his patterns and adjusted accordingly and so seamlessly, Hua Cheng truly forgot where he began and E-ming ended. It was a shame his first time wielding it was against Lang QianQiu.

Lang Qianqiu was another of the non-shitty gods. He was naive, bullheaded, knew how to hit things good at it and that was about it, but he was also honest. Even the naivety could be endearing at times. Being around him was, comfortable. Familiar almost. Staring down his blazing, rage filled eyes over their crossed swords had never been on Hua Cheng’s to do list, yet, here they were. E-ming shrieking with glee as the swords scraped and caught in this dangerous dance, further making the veins bulge in the eastern god’s head. Really, Hua Cheng would be sympathizing more if he wasn’t vibing right along with E-ming.

“Why. Are. You. Helping. Him.” 

Each of Lang Qianqiu’s words were punctured by a lightning fast strike, easily deflected with E-ming’s willingness and Hua Cheng’s own skill. 

They whirled and again, the swords caught, hilt to hilt, so that they were face to face. 

“He’s probably hot under that mask.” 

Lang Qianqiu screamed in rage and threw all of his weight onto the blades, forcing them away again.

“Wu Ming! Retreat!” Bai Wuxiang’s orders washed over him, and nothing felt more natural than to leap away from his battle with the martial god and to the Calamity’s side. Neither man looked back as Lang Qianqiu stumbled, nearly fell, and then slammed bodily against Bai Wuxiang’s golden foil trap. Trussed up and bound like the angriest sushi roll and screaming wordlessly as they watched him try to escape it’s clutches. Eventually he had no more ability to fight, bound so tight he could hardly breathe, much less move.

E-ming was patted, vibrating and purring again under the praise of Hua Cheng and Bai Wuxiang combined, and then dismissed.

“Who is this by the way?” Bai Wuxiang leaned in close, making Hua Cheng’s already fast heart skip a beat. Did he really not remember murdering the poor kid’s family and destroying his kingdom? 

“Former prince of Yong’An, Lang Qianqiu.” Hua Cheng whispered back.

“... Ah.”

They turned to go, but were stopped when the god yelled for them again; “Hua Cheng how dare you betray us like this! What is wrong with you!? Answer me!”

Was it really not obvious? Then again, really, who was he talking about here? Dipshits hadn’t even realized Qing Xuan and He Xuan were still back in Black Wind’s territory, He Xuan not quite yet ready to leave the urns of his family until Qing Xuan told him every detail. It didn’t matter anyway, he didn’t get the chance to answer, Bai Wuxiang stepped forward and squatted down by him. Ignoring the indignant look at his face.

“Tell Jun Wu to stop sending you weak creatures. I’m taking back what belongs to me, and I’ll let him live if he repents properly and leaves us in peace from now on.” The words were toneless, stated as a fact rather than a threat. Hua Cheng still didn’t have all of his memories, but he remembered enough to know that Bai Wuxiang spoke no words carelessly. Not anymore.

“And since I know you will continue to pursue me, allow me to tell you something; I did not create the human face disease. Yong’An’s first king did that, releasing that plague on my people.” 

“That’s a lie! Lang Ying was an honorable man!” 

Bai Wuxiang grabbed the back of Lang Qianqiu’s head and smashed it into the ground, continuing as if he hadn’t been interrupted in the first place. “I was simply giving it back after all this time.” He paused, thoughtful almost, “I was even going to give them another chance. Three days they had to prove they deserved it. I’m sorry to say, they did not. As for your parents?”

“You know noth-” _Smash._

“They were being played by my shitty cousin. Don’t worry though, Qi Rong is gone now- Fang Xin had been right all along, I really should have done something about him sooner.”

Lang Qianqiu’s face went white, torn between fear and pure rage, sputtering indignantly and shouting for them to come back and face him properly as Bai Wuxiang let go of him and stepped away. His white petals whipped into a frenzy around himself and Hua Cheng, and the two were swept away.

They didn’t travel long, Bai Wuxiang’s distance shorting spell dumping them safely away from the gods. Unfortunately, also dumping them several Li in the air. Hua Cheng didn’t even blink, snatching Bai Wuxiang out of the air, and landing gracefully on his feet.

The last time the petals dropped them off, the same thing happened. According to Bai Wuxiang, they were far less accurate, preferring instead to get the job done rather than doing it done right. Only, Bai Wuxiang hadn’t bothered to land on his feet, simply dropping down like a sack of potatoes and crawling his way out of the crater. Causing quite a bit of distress to Hua Cheng’s poor heart and shrugging off the concern with, ‘I can’t die, and it doesn’t hurt. Better than wasting energy trying to be fancy’.

This time, Hua Cheng was ready. 

“Pardon me Gege.” Hua Cheng offered his slickest grin to the Calamity in his arms. A very stiff and unmoving calamity Hua Cheng quickly put back on his feet when he realized he wasn’t going to say anything.

“Why- what was that!?” Bai Wuxiang was shocked! He hadn’t been treated like this since… since….

“If Gege won’t care for his physical form, this lowly one will do so instead.”

The wind blew between them, and Hua Cheng knelt. The very picture of servitude.

“You’re so insincere!” Bai Wuxiang choked on the words. An emotion he hadn’t felt in years stirring in his blood. “Don’t act like this is you still don’t remember!”

Hua Cheng didn’t lift his head, but he said, “My memories are returning. Soon I’ll have them all back, but there’s one thing I do remember right now that needs to be said.” Finally he looked up, his smile had no teasing in it, only a gentle warmth. 

“I’m forever your most devoted follower.”

Even the wind was silent this time. Bai Wuxiang frozen once more in front of him. 

Time slowed as the Calamity fell to his knees, pale hands grasping for Hua Cheng, only to stop at the last breathe away. There was fear under that mask, tears leaking freely from under it.

“I’m forever yours, always yours, in every way. Mind, heart, body and soul. This San Lang belongs to Xie Lian.” Bai Wuxiang, Xie Lian, the love of his life sobbed and threw himself into Hua Cheng’s arms. 

Those words had been a part of his wedding vows. 

When Xie Lian fell, lost to grief and rage due to the fall of his kingdom, the people he once swore to protect turning on him, watching his friends turn away, his parents dragged into the street and murdered by Yong’An guards. a crowd of angry former citizens using his own sword to cut him away to almost nothing- Hua Cheng loved him still. Hua Cheng returned to his side every chance he got, fighting back, killing and maiming, anything to save his beloved. 

They were going to unleash the plague together, destroy Yong’An it was true, but then Xie Lian saw the face of his loyal soldier, his most devoted follower. He saw nothing but love for his wretched, fallen self, and collapsed into Wu Mings arms, their hearts full of nothing but each other. Later, Wu Ming was allowed to try and cleanse him of the disease, But the spirits went out of their control during the ritual that would rid the world of them, and Jun Wu attacked them instead.

Behind him, the laughing and crying mask fell to the ground. Hua Cheng didn’t bother with it, pulling Xie Lian into his lap fully and tightening their embrace. He didn’t need to see the face of his beloved, he would know it better than he knew himself when his memories returned full force. For now, it was simply enough to hold him again, to know that nothing would ever separate them again.

**Author's Note:**

> If you read all of my midnight rambling nonsense here, I respect you. Anyway you can find me on twitter at ayamcemany for more mxtx stuff.


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